You guys, funny story. I play in a 16-team league (my only league this year) and we use FAAB for our waiver system. *HAHAHA* That’s not the funny part. Or if it is, keep reading, because you’re an easy crowd and this seems promising. This past Wednesday, when waivers cleared, I woke up to find that I was the proud owner of a brand new shiny RB by the name of Matt Jones. I laughed at my league for not outbidding my $32. I was very pleased.  So pleased, in fact, that I made a waiver-claim-win-induced decision to place my new claim directly into my lineup for the week. A TNF blowout, goal line fumble, and 3.20 fantasy points later and the joke is complete, only now my league mates are the ones laughing (and you, of course, if your earlier chuckles were any indication). Anyhoo, now that you understand I am definitely losing this week, take some advice and let’s see if I can bring you down with me help you avoid a similar fate….

Bengals @ Ravens

Tyler Eifert, TE, CIN – I waited and waited for this guy in my draft this year. I was so excited when my time came to scoop him at the back end of the nether rounds. And then I realized he was already gone and I somehow ended up with Dwayne Allen. Also, I don’t care how good the Ravens are, start this guy. 

Steve Smith, Sr., WR, BAL – Smitty bounced back in a big way last week and I expect more of the same this week. Start him with confidence. 

Jeremy Hill, RB, CIN – 
Baltimore is very stingy this year and Jeremy seems to be losing some trust. The fact that Gio has looked so good certainly isn’t helping his cause either. 

Justin Forsett, RB, BAL – Alright, so I’m not starting any RBs in this game if I have better options. Just an FYI, I don’t have better options and wish I had ANY of the RBs in this game. 

Saints @ Panthers

Brandin Cooks, WR, NO – I know, Drew Brees is out this week, and Carolina has done an excellent job of shutting down the passing game, but I think Cooks will get the work early and often and might put up a nice YAC day. 

Jonathan Stewart, RB, CAR – Stewie should beast this week. Seriously. He hasn’t done it so far, but the carries are there and this Saints defense is swiss cheese, as usual. 

Mark Ingram, RB, NO – Although New Orleans may try to establish a ground game early in this one, I just don’t see it happening. Also, I think they try to use more CJ Spiller this week. 

Carolina WRs, CAR – Who plays WR for Carolina this year? Mark Carrier? Sigh.. We miss you, Kelvin. Real bad.

Raiders @ Browns

Amari Cooper, WR, OAK – Cooper has looked very impressive with Oakland, and I thoroughly expect that to continue here. He might get Joe Haden, but that’s a bigger worry for Joe than it is for Cooper’s fantasy owners. 

Isaiah Crowell, RB, CLE – The Raiders are doing what they do best: allowing fantasy points to RBs. I don’t expect a ton from Travis Benjamin with the QB switch and think the Browns will try to control this one on the ground with Crowell. 

Latavius Murray, RB, OAK – I don’t love recommending this sit, but the Browns are middle-of-the-pack against RBs so far and I think Oakland will throw it more than they run it. Murray can still have a good day, but I’d sit him if I was choosing between RBs and I had another high-upside option. 

Travis Benjamin, WR, CLE – This one is probably the most obvious call with Manziel being benched. Benjamin is a good WR, but he earned Johnny’s trust on the deep ball and had an obvious connection there. 

Falcons @ Cowboys

Leonard Hankerson, WR, ATL – Hanky Panky out-targeted Roddy White last week by a mile and I expect that to continue going forward. I’m even considering picking this guy up and you should too. I think he’s the Star(TM) this week in Dallas. 

Lance Dunbar, RB, DAL – The Falcons are currently giving up the most fantasy points per game to RBs this year. Dunbar is more of a pass-catching specialist, but I think that’s what Dallas will need in this game to try and keep up. 

Devonta Freeman, RB, ATL – Because, ew. Tevin Coleman is the real deal for ATL and Freeman probably won’t get much of a shot beyond this week. If you’re desperate for a RB, you have my permission to use Freeman (because Coleman is likely out for this game), but please explore other options. Please.

Joseph Randle, RB, DAL – I know what I said about the Falcons’ run D, but I don’t think Dallas will run it much in this one. My guess is that Dunbar outsnaps Randle this week and Joey puts up a bit of a dud. 

Buccaneers @ Texans

Jameis Winston, QB, TB – Famous Jameis has shown that he’s almost semi-ready for the big leagues and Houston has shown that they don’t know how to defend against fantasy QBs. I’m not expecting a HUGE game here, but I think he’s a good option if you’ve recently lost a QB to injury. 

Nate Washington, WR, HOU – So DeAndre Hopkins is apparently in the concussion protocol right now, which makes Washington a big time play in this game. Even if Hopkins plays, I think he’ll be decoy-ish (and groggy), which means he may not be heavily targeted and leaves more room for WaRshington (as my Father-in-law, The Texan, pronounces it) to produce. 

Doug Martin, RB, TB – The Texans have been stingy against fantasy RBs so far this year and I think that continues this week. I think Martin has more yardage through the air than he does on the ground in this one, and neither number should be impressive. 

DeAndre Hopkins, WR, HOU – I’ve already been over this, but I know that short-term memory loss can be a byproduct of concussions so… Sit the guy. Ok? 

Chargers @ Vikings

Melvin Gordon, RB, SD – I hate recommending this guy. Not because I think he’ll have a bad game, but because I’m playing against him this week and know that he’s going off. Minnesota has a so-so run D and Gordon is getting better every week. He becomes a household name this week. 

Kyle Rudolph, TE, MIN – I don’t know if Rudolph the Red Zone Reindeer is trademarked or not, but it will be Christmas in September for Kyle this weekend as I’m 100% positive he finds the end zone Sunday. 

Keenan Allen, WR, SD – The good news: KEENAN ALLEN HAS 21 TARGETS IN TWO GAMES! The bad news: KEENAN ALLEN GOT 17 TARGETS IN HIS FIRST GAME. He disappeared last week and I think he stays disappeared this week, too. 

Mike Wallace, WR, MIN – The Chargers shut down WRs so far this season and Mike Wallace hasn’t been awesome since he left Pittsburgh. I’d avoid him this week. 

Jaguars @ Patriots

Blake Bortles, QB, JAX – I think the Jags are chasing the Patriots for this entire game. Bortles should through 40+ times and rack up big time yardage against a Patriots D that is quite generous to QBs so far. 

LeGarrette Blount, RB, NE – I know Dion Lewis has been the man in New England so far, but that will change this weekend, for at least one game, anyway. This has Blount Game written all over it. Which is a joke that writes itself.

TJ Yeldon, RB, JAX – I just can’t imagine there being any time in this game for the Jags to try and put the ball on the ground this weekend. At least not on purpose, that is. 

Dion Lewis, RB, NE – This goes back to the Blount Game theory. Which is still a solid piece of humor, if I do say so myself. And I do. 

Eagles @ Jets

Darren Sproles, RB, PHI – “BUT HE’S THEIR 3RD STRINGER!” I know. Here’s the thing, Murray is dinged up, Mathews might be, too, and Sproles should be heavily involved anyway. I don’t see much scoring in this one, but Darren could make a difference and rack up some stats. 

Brandon Marshall, WR, NYJ – The Eagles have been generous to fantasy WRs and Marshall has been generous to his fantasy owners. Start him. 

Sam Bradford, QB, PHI – This will be a rough week for Sammy. I think he gets hit early and often and probably throws a pick or three. I’d avoid if I could. 

Chris Ivory, RB, NYJ – Ivory is banged up and might even miss this game. I’d scoop Bilal Powell if he’s available and might even start him if I didn’t have any other options. 

Steelers @ Rams

Le’Veon Bell, RB, PIT – I know this one is obvious, but gosh is Bell going to have a great game. STL hasn’t shown that they’re willing or able to stop anybody’s ground game so far and they’re about to be up against a suspended rested superstar. Woof.

Jared Cook, TE, STL – Jared, also known as my friend Jason’s little brother, has been getting more and more involved in the STL attack this year and the Steelers haven’t stopped TEs yet. I think he has a big game. 

Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, PIT – DHB has had a nice season so far, but don’t get sucked in. He will be replaced soon by Martavis Bryant and I think this is a big running game for Pittsburgh this week as they look to feature their guy, Bell. Also, STL has done a nice job against WRs so far (maybe because they can’t stop the run). 

Tre Mason, RB, STL – PIT has been stingy against the run and Todd Gurley may be back for this one. I’d avoid Mason, who will probably be abandoned early as STL tries to play catchup. 

Titans @ Colts

Kendall Wright, WR, TEN – Kendall has the Wright stuff… Alright that was terrible. I’m sorry. Sometimes puns are just too bad to be avoided. I’m digging a hole here.. Pleas just start the guy. 

Donte Moncrief, WR, IND – FEED MONCRIEF. Andy Luck’s new favorite target has been fantastic so far and I’m loving every minute of it. I went to college with this cat and he deserves every bit of the success he’s had so far. Hotty Toddy. 

Bishop Sankey, RB, TEN – Or whoever the Titans give the ball to on the ground this week. Indy isn’t the greatest run-stopping team in the league, but this RBBC is to be avoided anyway as they’ll need to air it out to keep up. 

T.Y. Hilton, WR, IND – “Ghost” is still a bit dinged up and didn’t do a ton last week. Give him one more week to get right before putting him back in your lineups. 

49ers @ Cardinals

Carlos Hyde, RB, SF – If he plays, here’s your guy this week. I don’t expect much from this offense on the road against Arizona, and Hyde may be the only usable piece. 

John Brown, WR, ARI – Larry Fitz got all the love last week, and I think he will be rewarded by getting all of the attention (from the defense) this week. Look for Brown (who loves scoring TDs at home) to have a career day against a SF defense that just got torched by the Steelers WRs. 

Colin Kaepernick, QB, SF – Just in general. Sit him. Drop him? 

Chris Johnson, RB, ARI – I know CJ2K is the “lead dog” in Arizona, but I just can’t trust him. David Johnson might even see more carries than he does this week. Sit with confidence.

Bills @ Dolphins

Sammy Watkins, WR, BUF – Sammy was MIA (no puns) in week 1, but showed up big in week 2. I see more of week 2 in week 3. *Mind=Scrambled*

Jarvis Landry, WR, MIA – The Bills have an amazing defense, but Landry just finds a way every week to be involved. I think he catches a ton of passes this week and has one of the highest floors in fantasy football. 

LeSean McCoy, RB, BUF – The Dolphins have been very tough against the run and Shady just isn’t what he used to be. If you can trade him for any kind of value, I’d do it. Also, don’t start him this week. 

Lamar Miller, RB, MIA – Miller has been pretty awful so far this year, averaging 2.9 YPC on 23 totes. I don’t see that trending upward against this incredible defense. 

Bears @ Seahawks

Martellus Bennett, TE, CHI – He is the only prayer Jimmy Clausen will have in this game. Oof. 

Jimmy Graham, TE, SEA – Jimmy has done NOTHING so far this year, and is raising a stink about it. Look for Seattle to make up for that by getting him into the end zone a couple of times this weekend. 

Matt Forte, RB, CHI – I mean, you probably don’t have any other options, but ignore whatever projections people have for Matt this weekend and hope he gets you 5-7 points. 

Doug Baldwin, WR, SEA – I hate to sit anybody for Seattle in this one, but if I have to throw a dart, I’m putting up a list of WRs and making the toss. 

Broncos @ Lions

CJ Anderson, RB, DEN – Yup. This guy. CJ has been pitiful so far, but I think Denver puts him into bell cow mode this weekend and Kubiak’s the heck out of the Lions. 

Eric Ebron, TE, DET – Ebron has really shown what he’s capable of this year and I expect the Lions to sling it his way early and often. Look for at least one end zone trip in what may be the only score Detroit gets in this one. 

Ronnie Hillman, RB, DEN – I know Hillman has been a popular add in most fantasy circles (as well he should be), but I see this, again, as a CJ game and Hillman may not get much work at all. 

Calvin Johnson, WR, DET – It’s crazy, I know, but Denver is SO GOOD at shutting down WRs and they have perhaps the best CB duo in the league in Talib and Harris. You can’t really sit Megatron unless you are stacked at WR, but I’d at least consider it if I had someone else with a great matchup. 

Chiefs @ Packers

Travis Kelce, TE, KC – I love Kelce this week. I think Green Bay jumps out early on KC and the Chiefs are forced to get out of their comfort zone and throw the ball. Kelce should be the primary beneficiary (INSURANCE TERM). 

James Jones, WR, GB – Fun fact: The Chiefs are the worst team in the league when it comes to points allowed to fantasy WRs. While I think Cobb will get the yardage, JJ will by DYNOMITE in the end zone this week. 

Jeremy Maclin, WR, KC – I drafted this guy as my WR2 this year, thinking I was getting a STEAL. Welp, I feel like one of those goobers on Bait Car. “Yeah man! We’re riding in style! It still has the new Bait Car smell! Why is the engine stopping?!”

Eddie Lacy/James Starks, RB, GB – I’m not sure which one is starting, but I’m not comfortable with either one this week. What the Chiefs can’t do against the pass, they are exceptionally good at doing against the run (stopping it, if you missed that earlier). Lacy is banged up and Starks shouldn’t find much running room. 

Alright, good people, that’s it for this week! Thanks for reading (or just skipping down to your players and ignoring the rest, like I do every time I read one of these articles) and go win your matchups! 

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